I used to live for the sweaty PVP lobbies.
It started with Special Forces back in the early 2000s, which makes me feel ancient just typing it out. Then came Crossfire, the original Dota map in Warcraft III, and eventually the Counter-Strike rabbit hole. CSGO was my main game for years before it morphed into CS2.
The whole time, it was about the ladder. The rank. The endless grind to see a number go up. But let’s be honest, I’m not the next Faker or s1mple. That ceiling is miles above my head and I’m never going to touch it.
And even if I did? It wouldn’t mean anything. It doesn’t pay my rent. If people want to dedicate their lives to clicking heads faster than everyone else, I respect the hustle. But it’s not for me.
One last try
I gave it one final shot with Arc Raiders. The game is solid, actually really polished. But it just didn’t grab me. I played a few rounds and found myself alt-tabbing to browse Steam. Next thing I knew, I was back in Helldivers 2, then finishing Bayonetta, and now I’m deep into Clair Obscur: Expedition 33. Zero PVP involved.
What I’m playing now
I haven’t sworn off multiplayer entirely; I just strictly play co-op now. Helldivers 2 is my main rotation because it’s pure, chaotic fun without the toxicity. It’s refreshing to actually be on a team that wants to help you instead of screaming at you for missing a smoke lineup.
When I’m not fighting for Super Earth, I’m playing story games. And you know what? They’re actually fun. I forgot that games could just be… fun. Good stories, immersive worlds, and gameplay that challenges you without raising your blood pressure.
Maybe this is my “unc” phase kicking in. I’m 26 as of writing (basically 30 in internet years), and I’ve got real life stuff to worry about now. Bills, groceries, taxes. The stress of a ranked match just doesn’t hit right when you have real problems to stress about.